'Anybody looking from the outside
would have thought my life was great,' writes J-Lo. 'I had a husband and two
beautiful children. I was on American Idol and my new single On The Floor had
gone to number one all over the world. 'What
people didn't know was that life really wasn't that good. My relationship was
falling apart and I was terrified.'
She
revealed she made the decision to end the marriage after suffering a panic
attack while preparing for a photoshoot.
'As I sat there getting my mind made
up, my heart was beating out of my chest and I felt like I couldn't breathe...
I became consumed with anxiety,’ What was happening to me? I leaped from my
chair and said to my dear manager Benny Medina, "Benny, something is
happening! I feel like I'm going crazy." My mom was there and she rushed
to my side too.
'It was one of those moments when you're so scared you can't even scream. In a blur of fear and panic, I looked at Benny and my mother and blurted out the words: "I don't think I can be with Marc anymore." Then I burst into tears.
'It was one of those moments when you're so scared you can't even scream. In a blur of fear and panic, I looked at Benny and my mother and blurted out the words: "I don't think I can be with Marc anymore." Then I burst into tears.
'It was out, Jennifer recalls. 'The thing I feared more than anything in the world. I collapsed into their arms and began to sob
She also
admitted she has suffered abuse in past relationships
I've never gotten a black eye or
busted lip but I've been in relationships where I have been abused in one way
or another: mentally, emotionally, verbally,' she reveals. 'I know what it
feels like for your soul to be diminished by the way your loved one is treating
you.
'It took me years to figure out that, in that kind of relationship the intensity and the conflict are really coming from two people. 'Because every day you don't walk out that door, every day you accept things in a partner and in yourself.’
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